Wednesday, January 31, 2007

To Feel Or Not To Feel

Is it better to feel? Or is it better not to feel?
Is it better to have feelings and emotions and get affected by every thrilling, tragic, or crazy detail that shapes your life story? Or is it better to be ignorant and emotionless about whatever goes on with your life?
At the first thought, most of us would choose to feel rather than not to feel. But take a minute or two to actually weigh in the two sides.
I personally have been tortured all my life, by a very dear friend whom i loathe as much as i adore. He always insisted that i "feel". His name is Conscience.
Whenever a hurtful incident happens, and i choose not to feel, Conscience is there to remind me to feel.
When people leave, either leave you for a while or leave life itself, you wish not to feel and to runaway for a while.
Whenever you read the news and read between lines the misery of nations, you wish not to feel. Whenever you have a bad day, a fight with a dear one, a bad grade, you wish not to feel.
When I look at people who do not feel, i find them very happy. Are they happy deep down there? I can't tell for sure. But for the moment, for me, they look happy. The choice they took of not to feel made them happy.. could it be?
I really envy people who can pass each day without having worries that emerge from having a "feeling" toward each incident. I envy people who fail a subject and shrug it off. I envy people who watch the war news, frown for a second, then change the channel.
Sometimes i wish i was ignorant and didn't feel as much, would life be easier? I always wonder.